Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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