Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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