Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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