He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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