**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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