if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
