SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
two words...techno handjob
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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