in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
