Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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