wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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