That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
