Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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