You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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