I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
