So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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