remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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