This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
