my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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