We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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