Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
