dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
