all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
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