Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
