Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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