plz talk dirty to me
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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