I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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