I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
