oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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