Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
