that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I am spending my child support on dildos
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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