I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
