Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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