Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
