I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
you made out with another girl for some wings
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
there is puke in my bra ... again
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