On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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