For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
