ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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