I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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