It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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