Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
