Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
