I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
