I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
