I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
