One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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