Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
