I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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