A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
