And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
