I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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