Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
