Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
