How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
